Starting With One Small Change

2021, I’m late to the party I guess, but I sure hope this finds everyone well.

I had a wonderful family bubble which enabled me to enjoy both my adult children, their significant others and their lovable poochies throughout the holiday season. This left me feeling blessed and super grateful for having so much love in my life. 

As the year was winding down, I started thinking about my vision for the new year. This is where things started getting tricky for me. My first instinct was to do what I felt was expected of me; start posting healthy recipes and tips on how to get motivated. Start talking about all those lifestyle changes you’ve been hearing about and thinking about as the new year approached and came in. 

To be honest none of this inspired me. In fact, I realized I despise that sort of “let’s get fit” “let me help you take off those extra pounds” “I can improve your health in 5 easy steps” endless and relentless call to action posts. For me all I hear and see is I am not enough. 

Realizing this about myself, I did not want to contribute to what I label as shame selling.

I’m worried a bit that I may be offending a lot of people and I certainly hope that I am not. I know there are a lot of folks who find their motivation in these high intensity coaching and counseling styles and that this may be just what gets your motor running. If so, my style of coaching and counseling would not be a good fit for your needs. That’s one of the beautiful aspects of human nature, we are all different. We are not a one size fits all world.

I learned through my own trial and errors along with the help of many fine friends in support groups, counselors and coaches that real change does not happen just because I wish it to happen. Behavior change is a hard road with lots and lots of setbacks and surprises. I think it is one of the reasons I found myself frozen so many times throughout my life when I started thinking about changing behaviors.

Wanting to improve our health and our lifestyles is a wonderful desire. What I find myself spinning on about is how to start that journey while tempering expectations. How do we avoid falling into the pit of shame and feelings of failure when we don’t quite achieve all those lofty goals we set out to attain in the beginning of the new year? 

We live in a world that tells us every day how we are not enough. We are too tall, too short. Too thin, too fat, too young, too old, not educated enough, over educated, not fit enough, a fitness fanatic. You get the picture. 

With all the noise it can be difficult to keep our mind on what is truly real. I am human, an imperfect person and that’s ok. So how do we, me included, find our motivation and keep our motivation even as we deal with setbacks and surprises. I’m thinking if I can keep things easy, keep things simple I may be able to keep moving forward. 

I’ve decided that instead of allowing myself to feel the stress of trying to handle all things I wish to accomplish in 2021 I decided to start small.

I decided to ask myself what is the one thing I can change about my lifestyle that will bring me more joy? 

One decision I made for myself was to get back to Jazzercise. Although I have lost income due to Covid, I decided that the physical and mental health improvements that dancing gives me such as benefiting my cardiovascular and respiratory health, improvement in immune function, lowering of blood pressure, detoxing through a good sweat and lifting my mood with a burst of endorphins was worth the struggle of finding money to pay for my membership. 

I rejoined in January and I am loving my decision. Have I been a perfect student? Have I been showing up every day ready to work my tail off? Honestly, not always. So, what happens when I feel unmotivated? When I don’t want to get up and dance alone in my bedroom while watching my live-streamed class? 

I mean I have no one keeping track of whether I attend class or not. I could just sit on my bed and watch the instructor work while I drink some coffee… I could and I have once or twice! It usually doesn’t take too long before I start to feel the lack of endorphins that daily exercise gives me. I start to feel more tired, and my mood starts to dip. This is a set back and at this point I get to choose to be kind to myself, to accept that I have slacked, accept that I am human and get back in the groove. 

When I don’t shame myself and beat myself up for my slacking, I find it so much easier to get back to the routine. Of course, I also feel the physical difference immediately and that makes showing up the next day even easier. If you are hoping to start some sort of exercise program, may I suggest that you start simple. Find something that makes you smile while you are doing it. Give yourself the grace to start slow and build. Give yourself permission to back off without judging yourself harshly and then give yourself enough love to step back in and just keep going.

No one actually asked me for any advice… but I wrote this - honestly - for my own benefit. 

I need to remind myself to be kind and gentle with myself this coming year. I have spent many years being very hard on myself and in some ways that has been a good thing and in other ways it has not. The point that I find myself in life right now seems to be calling for some gentleness. If there is a silver lining to this past year for me it is that I’ve learned I can slow down, that I do not have to be constantly achieving, creating, working, or taking care of others at the expense of my own wellbeing. 

I have learned it's okay to take baby steps, it’s okay to start slowly and build to a tempo that feels comfortable. I do not have to run to anyone else’s beat. Life needs to be joyous. How are we to handle the certain sadness, and the difficulties that life brings if we do not know where to look for and find the joy it has to offer as well? So, my word to myself and to all of you who have taken the time to read this is:

Be kind to ourselves, treat ourselves with love and compassion. Remind ourselves daily to look for the joy that can be found all around us. 

My hope is that this shift in perspective will lift us and lead us to paths that bring us joy, health and wellness. Happy New Year to all. It’s going to be a wonderful, exciting road.

I am available for a free 30-minute consults should you be looking for nutritional guidance based in whole foods and sustainable choices. You can find my schedule here.